7th July 2009 – Discovering your love language

Why are we doing the love languages?

1. Learning how to LOVE others they way they can perceive it
a. It is not easy to love someone (person is not likable)
b. It is also not easy to make someone fill your love (the person is not appreciative)
2. Self-discovery! (enjoy who God created in you!)
a. Discovering what is your love language (the way you perceive how someone love you) so to better fill your love/emotional tank and other people can know so to help you– everyone is different and unique! And it is ok!
b. So that you will not find love in the wrong places

Isn’t it very self-centered?
No, self-centeredness is when you only care for yourself, our goal for learning the love languages is that you will learn how to take care of yourself, your emotional well being, and in doing so, honoring God with your body.

“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

What is love language?
According to Gary Chapman, all of us receive and give love in different manners. And the different manner we receive or give love is called a love language. There are 5 love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch.

Chapman argues that while each of these languages is enjoyed to some degree by all people, a person will usually speak one primary language, but all are important and can be ranked. However, knowing your primary language will be helpful to know how you best receive love.

What is next?
Do you feel that you are unloved by people around you?
Sometimes its not that people are not showing love to you but they are not giving it in the manner of your primary love language (especially our love ones). One thing you can do is to let them know how you learnt about your primary love language and you hope to receive through the specific ways. Give time for them to learn how to express also.

Secondly, when you are feeling burn out or depressed, it could be that your emotional tank is low, now that you know what your primary love language is, learn how to refill your emotional/love tank through the primary love language e.g. through spending time with a friend. [Some limitations]

Thirdly, go and learn about your friend’s primary love language! Then show your friend care through that love language.

Some caution:
Each person may have 2 primary love languages. Take time to discover what is your primary language.

Share:
1. What is your emotional tank now? (Empty, half, full) Why?
2. What is your primary love language? Does it surprise you? Why or why not?